He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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