so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
