it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This is my gift to your gina
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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