Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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