did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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