i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
