dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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