I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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