quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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