I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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