Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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