He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
