We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
