is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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