Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
