you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
