Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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