a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
only if we run a train.
done.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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