Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
