her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
