Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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