we have officially lost it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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