I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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