i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
