I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
