So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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