I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
