white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you didnt know i had herpes?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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