hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
