all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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