Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize