Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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