Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize