when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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