what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
