Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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