Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
