At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
