i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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