i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
