There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
