the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We need a shit load of segways right now
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
