After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
