I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
