Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
