yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
