I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
