Non-Jews are for practice
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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