I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
