sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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