My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
