he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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