half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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