haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
