Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My vagina just recognized that song.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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