Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize