Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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