Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
