How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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