who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
