Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
