i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
