why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
