Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
id be glad to
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
