Porn is love you can see.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
