Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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