In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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