you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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