Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
