if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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