she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
