JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
