i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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