I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
