Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
